


Dead Lettered

by Evilicing



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Angstshipping - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 12:11:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13294626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evilicing/pseuds/Evilicing
Summary: This letter was a pale, pastel sheet that was folded meticulously, probably an easy feat for the skillful hands of someone like Ryou, Marik realized.It was folded so beautifully this time, he almost didn’t want to disturb it. When he finally did, he immediately wished he hadn’t.This letter… it…It wasn’t meant for him.





	Dead Lettered

Waiting on mail to be delivered in Egypt was like waiting patiently for molasses to slide uphill. In _January_. 

Marik felt like that's exactly what he'd been doing the past few weeks, ever since Ryou had warned him over e-mail that his next letter to Marik had been stamped and sent. ( _"Just be patient, Marik,"_  Ryou always virtuously scolded, _"it's the wait that makes receiving a letter worth it!"_ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~)

Now the day of reckoning had come, the wait finally over and done with until the cycle began again when Marik mailed his reply, postal service be damned. 

Marik closed the door quietly behind him, an almost childish, giddy smile on his face as he sat down at his desk with a letter he’d been looking most forward to receiving—addressed to _him_ , of course, written in the most neat handwriting he’d ever seen.  
  
Ryou was always perfect like that, in every way possible.  
  
It had started as just letters between two people that barely knew each other; he believed Ryou had called it something along the lines of “penpals.” Since then, it had become so much more than that… Marik knew Ryou almost better than he knew himself now, and he had trusted Ryou with some of his darkest secrets. This was, of course, the first time anyone had ever sent letters to Marik. The concept was still new and exciting to him, to think that people once communicated this way without the luxury of telephones and computers. Because Marik himself had lived so long without these luxuries, it was a sentiment he could easily appreciate.

He didn’t know it was possible to get so close to someone in such a short amount of time, but whatever had happened lately between him and Ryou had proved him wrong.  
  
Now, the letters were like gold to him. Nothing made him more excited than opening up one of Ryou’s letters, even though he knew that at any time he could easily pick up his cell phone and call him just the same. There was something timeless and romantic about it, he thought as he pressed a quick, silly kiss to the backside of the envelope.  
  
The pale envelope split carefully as Marik opened it. He almost wished he could preserve it better, every special, loving letter Ryou sent just for him—just knowing that Ryou had once touched this envelope made it that much more special. 

Marik blinked, almost surprised to see that inside the envelope was stationery he’d never seen from Ryou before. He had seen _a lot_ of letters from Ryou, too, mostly involving the rotation of many different types of paper he’d grown familiar with over time. Perhaps this paper was new?  
  
This letter was a pale, pastel sheet that was folded meticulously, probably an easy feat for the skillful hands of someone like Ryou, Marik realized.  
It was folded so beautifully this time, he almost didn’t want to disturb it. When he finally did, he immediately wished he hadn’t.  
  
This letter… it…  
  
It wasn’t meant for him.

How could this be?  
  
Marik studied it in both confusion and horror, his eyes unable to look away even though he knew it was clearly just a careless mistake on Ryou’s part. How could this letter have gotten in an envelope addressed to _him_ …? And even more unnerving was the recipient this letter was truly meant for.  
  
_Dear Amane,_

Marik _knew_ that name. Ryou had mentioned it to him many times before in the past…  
  
He knew he shouldn't look any further, but he just couldn’t help himself as he read what came next.

 _I’ve missed you terribly the past few weeks! I hope you’ll forgive me for not writing to you sooner, but I’ve been so busy with school. I’m so, so sorry! Even as I write this letter now, I’m kind of in a hurry because I have lots of homework to do. Not that you’re a burden to write to, that’s not what I meant!_  
  
_Isn’t it hard to believe that your big brother will be graduating from high school soon? I can hardly believe it myself. Time has really flown by. How has school been for you? Knowing you, you’re surrounded by lots of good friends and making perfect grades in all your classes. You know I’ve always been jealous of how smart you are, and I know Mother must be so proud of you… just like I am. Promise me you’ll keep studying hard and find something that will make you happy one day?_  
  
_Speaking of finding happiness…_  
  
_I’ll spare you my usual nagging and worrying for once, because I have something very important I’d like to talk to you about today. This letter is going to be very different from my usual ones, and for that I apologize._  
  
_Amane, I think I know what I want to do when I graduate. Please don’t laugh, but I think I want to travel to Egypt and study archaeology, just like Father did. I haven’t even told any of my friends about this, not even Yugi. I suppose I wanted to tell you first. I think they would be happy for me, but there’s a part of me that’s still unsure. What do you think?_  
  
_Of course, I’m still not being completely honest with you. There’s more than one reason I want to go to Egypt again so badly. There are more things I’ve been keeping from you, and I don’t just mean the past few weeks. I’ve been through a lot, much more than I could ever bring myself to describe to you. Although I’ve never been able to share my biggest troubles with you, I assure you that I’ve only kept it from you to keep you safe. I was only trying to protect you, and this seemed like the easiest way… just not writing to you about it at all. Even so, you are the only thing that gives me the courage to face my problems. Not a single day goes by that I don’t think of you and wish you and Mother could be here with me. The loneliness and pain I feel every day is nothing compared to how much I love and miss you, and for that, I really am grateful._

  
_That’s why… I want to tell you the truth today. No more lies._  
  
_I have someone very special to me that I want to tell you about. I hope this isn’t too weird to be telling my little sister, but we never have been the most normal family, have we?_  
  
_Amane, for the first time in my life, I think I’ve fallen in love with someone. I know it seems impossible, that someone like me could ever feel this way or even deserve it, but I’m being completely serious. His name is Marik, and he lives in Egypt. I’m sure you’re learning much more about me today than you’ve ever wanted to know, but I need you to know the real me. Sometimes I’m not even sure who that is anymore, but I’m starting to understand more about who I am thanks to Marik. I hope you can always find it in your heart to fully accept me, sister. I couldn’t bear to think that you were ashamed of me in any way._  
  
_He’s so wonderful, though, and I didn’t know it was even possible to feel so strongly about another person. I would do absolutely anything for him, if he ever asked it of me. I want to make him happy, even more than I want myself to be happy. Is that strange?_  
  
_I think you would really love him, too. My heart is beating so fast right now just thinking about him, and writing about him like this to you is only making it worse! I met him through Yugi a while back, and although we weren’t exactly able to be friends back then, we’ve gotten to know each other so well now. It’s amazing how much we have in common, really. He’s so nice to me and is always sending me little presents from Egypt! I write letters to him, too, and lately we’ve even been talking on the telephone and over the Internet. You know how shy I can be at first, but I think I’ve finally opened up to him completely. Sometimes I’m amazed that he even took the time to even get to know me at all._  
  
_I haven’t told Marik about my plans to move to Egypt, actually… and in case you’re wondering, I also haven’t told him I’m in love with him. I like to tell myself that I think he likes me this way, too. Not to give you too much detail, but we’ve gotten really close. I hope I'm not just misinterpreting our... exchanges._  
  
_Of course I don’t want to leave my friends here, but… I want to be closer to Marik. Even if I never work up the courage to tell him how I feel, even being near him as a friend would make me so happy. That’s why I need to do this. I want to do things my way, for once._  
  
_I’m sure you’ve realized by now how much I’ve changed lately. I’m much stronger than the weak big brother you used to know. One day, I want you to be able to really look up to me. That’s why…_  
  
_This will be the last letter I send to you, Amane. Please don’t be upset with me, but I need you to understand how strong you’ve made me. Thanks to you, I’m able to stand up on my own and make decisions like these and live for myself. Writing to you has always helped me cope with reality, in a sense, but I understand now. It's not the letters that comfort me. It's always been you._  
  
_Please don’t think of this as me saying I don’t need you anymore… that is most certainly not the case! In fact, I need you more than ever. But I understand now that I don’t need these letters to have you with me, you’re always with me. An amazing sister like you is more than I deserve, so please give me this chance to make you proud of me for a change._  
  
_I love you so much, Amane. Please take care of yourself and continue watching over me. Wish me lots of luck, because I’m going to need it. Please tell Mother not to worry about me too much. I’m not alone anymore. Finally… I can say that._  
_Take care._  
  
_Love Always,  
Ryou_

  
Marik couldn’t put the letter down. He felt tears well up in his unblinking eyes, the paper beginning to crease from the trembling of his hands. This… this letter…  
  
Ryou _loved_ him? Was this some kind of a joke? No, this was Ryou, and he would never do something like this intentionally. Especially considering how much Amane meant to him... he would never use her for something like this. The letters must have gotten mixed up by accident, which meant that the letter that was intended for Marik was somewhere in Amane's envelope... wherever that was.  
  
He felt like he was in a trance as his eyes scanned carefully over the letter once again, and by the time he’d read through it a third time, he was wiping away more tears. He wasn’t sure why he was he crying, trembling like a frightened child. Was he crying because Ryou was suffering, and had been suffering for longer than he could possibly imagine? Was he crying because the thought of Ryou having such tenderhearted feelings for him was almost too beautiful and pure to swallow? Or was it mainly because he knew he could never, ever tell Ryou about this unexpected letter... no, it just wouldn't be _right_.  
  
Not only would it be disrespectful and a breach of his privacy, but also what could he possibly say to answer Ryou’s feelings? Ryou would die of embarrassment if he knew that not only had Marik read a letter that was meant for a dead person, but he’d be completely mortified if he knew Marik had read these secret things written about him. And of course Ryou’s innocence could never allow him to deny it. Their friendship would suffer... Ryou would never speak to him again, humiliated.   
  
But he couldn’t just _pretend_ now, pretend that he knew nothing of how Ryou felt about him, and what he planned to do with his future… a future that meant not only a major change in his life, but also his very own happiness.  
  
Was there no solution to give Ryou the answer, the admission he deserved?  
  
Marik had looked so forward to getting this new letter from him, and now that he held it tense in his hands, it felt foreign and volatile. How he wished he'd never received this mismatched letter. 

After he folded it back gently, careful to make sure he followed the lines to copy Ryou’s fancy folding the best he could manage, the letter went back into the envelope and was set aside. Shaking, Marik picked up a piece of his own letter paper. His pen hovered hestitantly over the first line, but Marik allowed himself to do what he knew he had to do.

Marik had no way of knowing what Ryou's last letter to him really said, but he definitely knew what this one would say.  
  
  
_My dearest Ryou,_  
  
_I don’t think I received your last letter, I think it might have been lost in the mail._

It wasn't completely a lie. 

_I hope this letter reaches you, though, because I want to tell you how much you mean to me. I know this is sudden. I’ve never been good at saying these things over the phone, or in person, but I can’t thank you enough for never giving up on me, and forgiving me for all the horrible things I’ve done to you in the past. You’re so special to me, and I just couldn’t bear you not knowing how I feel about you. Your letters and friendship have been the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I think you know me well enough to know that I would never lie about something like that._

_P.S. You’ll find something in this envelope that you might feel like you can’t accept, but I want you to take it anyway, and please come to Egypt when you finish school. Come be with me, even if it’s just for a little while. The ticket will only be one-way for now, but the rest is up to you. Or up to us, maybe… if you find that it feels like home to you and want to stay forever. I can’t wait to see you._  
_Keep in touch._  
_  
-Marik_

**Author's Note:**

> It's sadly been such a loooong time since I've had a penpal of my own, but you can't tell me that you can't see Ryou doing something like that :') 
> 
> Believe it or not, this started out as an angstshipping lemon(with a much different plot line obviously, lol), but I really got carried away with this letter thing. Why can't I ever write the sexy?! I suppose there's always next time...
> 
> Still, thanks for reading!


End file.
